Depressed or not?

I don’t know if it is only me or even you had come across this often. To find people depressed. It has almost become normal these days. Among my surroundings, the Bay of Bengal was the only one which came out of depression quite soon. And I quite don’t understand when being depressed became new being normal.

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I cannot think of any reason to be depressed. I get my off days, that is true. But I cannot go on brood about it and plunge into depression. It is not just me. Another standard dialogue I hear is this. “I have gone through worst things in my life”. Whenever I hear something like this, I cannot help but smile. Sometimes I laugh. The people who say this will be in the middle or late twenties mostly. Coming over some illness or break up looks like a very daunting tasks for them. I don’t understand why. I had always wanted to ask them this. You say you have seen worse. So I agree. But please enlighten me worse than what? What is the scale of your comparison? How can you even compare depression?

And since these people also get offended easily, I suppress all these questions and try to give an understanding look. Blame it on so many things, but quite frankly we are living in a not so bad time. There is no great financial insecurity. Our parents had means to provide us food, clothing, shelter, education. We mostly go into white collar jobs where we squeeze our brains out. Again I am saying, there can be bad days. But I don’t understand when so many people go through this bad spells. It is really making it hard. I have a lot of friends and I have to always remember what hurts whom before saying things. And even if I hurt someone I am not confronted but they grieve to others through whatsapp. Sometimes they complain to me and when I say my practical stand point they screenshot it and put in their whatsapp groups to tell the world, how rude I am. Frankly I don’t care. But I am really worried about the mental health of my acquaintances.

I am seeing a deluge of motivational posts, “Strong me”, “I had people back stab me” etc etc even from college going people. I am not sure what they mean by this. And if you notice, you will see only pathos songs would be shared a lot with Hashtags. I fear, even a sane person will go depressed if people around him goes on like this. I personally know lot of people who tell me that I don’t know what it is to be depressed. They are right. But when they can judge me, i can also say that they don’t know what it means to enjoy small beautiful things in life. I understand that they feel safer in bed and under the sheets, but there are hell a lot of stars in the sky. You can hop on a bus and get to a tourist place in matter of four hours. You can call one of your friends and try to understand what he is doing. More often than not, it would end up in a cheerful conversation. Well, I also want to say about flowers, birds and kids etc., but I don’t like them that much.

The point of the the post is to rant. But when you feel depressed or when someone else you know tells you that they are depressed, try to find out if it is a bad day or spell. Show them what they have is better than 80% of India have and make them feel good. But rest assured, when you make them see the point, you will see a Facebook post saying, “I have defeated depression. I am strong that yesterday”

You would feel you should have let them alone for some more time. I am stronger than yesterday.


  1. Nandhini Chandrasekaran

    //they screenshot it and put in their whatsapp groups to tell the world, how rude I am//


    You spoke just like a big brother of my mind. I too don’t understand what to think about people who speak about petty problems as depression. Especially, those teens who suffer a breakup often quote that none can have had a bad past as their’s.

    But everybody’s state of mind is different. What seems small to one might look huge to another. And in fact it’s this difference in the human minds that makes each one of us unique.

    I see this from another angle. I don’t know if you have belief about the effect of stars alignment on humans, I mean the jadhagam effect. What these commercial astrologers predict is fake and crap. But otherwise the real influence of stars is such that when there is a bad period going on for one, every little thing in life would seem a problem. Even when they go to a tourist place, they will complain of depression following them. And those who are strong enough to overcome such effects will not speak like the depressed people though they might be actually be undergoing it. Ultimately, it’s to do with the strength of the mind.

    1. Post

      Exactly my point. Glad some one can have a peek into my thought process. It is totally in the mind. And some people also give false impression that they are in depression to gain attention. Which may lead the actual depressed people think it is normal. We have very little awareness about what depression is. Hope people realize that. About star alignment, I don’t know much about it so I am neither supportive or against it. But I have seen that the temple suggestions work big time. The astrologers predicted some bad time for me last June. They said I may get restless and stressed. So they suggested a temple trip around kumbakonam with family. I don’t know if the temples helped or not. But the family time made me relax and appreciate what we have. I see it as a feel good factor than science. Win win situation.

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          Nope I met with accident after three months. But if something bad happened to me then, I might have regretted not having the family time I had. Now more family and happy times.

  2. NJ

    The problem is that not many focus on strengthening their mind. It’s almost always about the physical part like eating healthy, exercising, etc. Nobody goes ‘let me strengthen my mind. Let me make my thoughts more positive, stronger, more energetic or happier’ and so on. It’s sometimes easier to face a physically tougher task simply because the results are visible. When you are trying to change something in your head, it’s not visible. So they don’t realise the power or it.

    People laugh or find it amusing when someone meditates or recites affirmations or even use self-help books. The mind is ‘blah’ for some. They don’t realise it’s just as an important tool as a person’s body. Unless they realise that their mind also requires constant attention, constant love and care, it’s going to be difficult to get out of it. It’s never easy to get out of depression. But then it’s never easy to heal a physical ailment too.

    You need to WANT to get out of it and most importantly WORK on it. Major part of the work is to be done by the individual alone. Others can help, yes, but the hard work is to be done by the person. Just wanting isn’t enough. If one wants to become healthy, one needs to eat healthily. They don’t automatically become so. Similarly, if one wants to be more positive and happy, one needs to think and do things that make them more cheerful etc. Just saying, ‘I want to be happy’ won’t be enough. I can go on and on but I’ll stop here 😀

    1. Post

      A comment worth million likes. Thanks Nirmal. As u said people don’t realize they need to take care of their mind too.

  3. gils

    you were depressed? nee sonna thaan theriyum 🙂 i meant it in a good way. you never look sad or depressed and it never shows on your face. avlo positiveana person u are. internala enna oduthunu mugathula kaatikama irukarathay biggest strength. Athu unkita irukku in abundance. keep it growing.

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