This is that time of the year where I get all sentimental. This time it is kind of difficult to even think. I got into an accident on the last day of September. I have broken my hand and few parts of my skull. When I think about things I don’t get a clear memory. It is all very cloudy. But I am alive. People say I should be thankful for that.
Usually during Octobers I tend to get extra busy. I take up on new assignments, extra respinsibilities at office just not to remember certain dates and days. This time it is gifted to me. I am lying in bed doing nothing for the entire day. But then nothing comes to my mind.
But it made me realize deep inside I don’t want to forget those certain days. The pretense of being too busy to care was just a mask. It doesn’t matter how old I get, I would never forget few dates.
Today is my sister’s birthday. It used to be fun. But then making people stay in my life is not exactly my strength. We drifted three years back. Not a day goes by without thinking about her. She had touched my life like that. Sometimes when I feel proud of myself of having crossed the hurdles and think of my goals which I had crossed in my bucket list. Turning back, I see nothing of that wouldn’t be possible without my sister. She was not family. We met in social media. But she will be my only sister.
I was in and out of consciousness when I was getting treated in the hospital. I remember the blood soaked shirt of mine. I also remember desperately searching for Prason Christopher Robin. I wanted him to deliver the news to my sister. If I was gone she should know it only through him. I thought and thought about what else I should say to people before I close my eyes. About the book I have finished and in editing stage? About the one I am writing now? Or my passwords to my family so that they know of the very limited savings I had done. But right at the brink of the other side, there was nothing else I wanted to share. Except for the love to my sister.
Few people leave such a mark in our lives. I wish I had realised all this before we drifted apart. I wish she reads this somehow. I wish we would celebrate her birthday together next year.
Happy Birthday Sinduja!! Have a great year ahead.
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All is not yet lost. Try and see if you can get her contact information from common friends or something. I’m sure she misses her brother too. Never lose hope. We often read stories of how people have gotten in touch with each other or friends/family through various means and that too after a long gap. So keep your chin high and keep trying and don’t give up. Good luck 🙂
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Nirmal!! It’s always a pleasure to have your comment in my posts. I am trying and hope to be successful. Thanks.
U never know
Sometimes all it takes is just a second… Not even a birthday wedding or an accident to remind me of u! Just stay alive okay? I don’t need to be next to u to be ur sister or meet Chris to be his friend. There are times when I badly wano cry to u but I know I can’t. Undortunate Perks of choosing one road leaving all behind on d road not taken. Adv happy 30. Wish I come see u soon at your awesome n happiness filled home dt we wanted to make great together. Missing u, Chris, Anya, Mike n Guru so badly… Esp u n Chris n it breaks my heart to even type this cos I dunno whether I have d guts to post this comment. His mails break my heart every dew days as I keep rereading dem. N u… U don even have to mention me… I just know… Dt I crossed ur mind… Just stay blessed u too… No matter how or where I am… U two stay too close to my heart to escape my mind. May not be easy to believe. But u know dt as u read dis, I won’t even wipe away d tears dt I am letting roll down. Its true… I never valued dad as much as I did after losing him. N u guys… till I had no choice but to stay away n secretly continue stalking. Pls be okay Annathay…. Miss ur mom n Anna too sometimes. Esp during festive seasons. Hope das is doing good. N tell Chris to convey my warmest regards to mom dad Joan (hope she recovered completely) n darling baby Anya who looks too pretty to be Chris’ daughter! Touch wood! Missing you always…
I had lot of questions in my head that I wanted to ask. Too many WHYs. Now none. In total numbness as I type this. But you did make me say “Its not funny”. IDIOT. I believe in meet ups and I do believe in talking.
I just don’t know what to say. I had been thinking since the moment I got this comment. Just Keep Smiling. I will try to stay alive. 🙂
Another year away… Hours to go… Wish u a healthier happier year ahead