The psychology behind rape and modern dressing

Few days back there was a sensational post doing rounds in Facebook titled “Yes my Bra shows, so what?” and the article went on and on about how people harass women who wear short skirts or shorts and how sometimes it leads to rape too. Some of the women even responded against the post. While we call ourselves a civilized society, a need of such a post is in itself a shock and what was more shocking is the reactions which the post got.

A friend of mine was planning a trip to Goa. I was joking with her saying that there might be a ban for short skirts in Goa and few minutes later we laughed it off. The next day morning we had the Goa minister recommending that move. We were spell bound. As far as I could think, the violence or harassment against the women who wear short skirts, or even shorts is not directed towards the women. But on the lifestyle of these women. Some people are jealous that the girls are doing something that they wanted to do. And for some people it does not sit well that we are really progressing.

People watch the American Sitcoms and crime serials. They go for brands like Gucci and Armani. They always want to drive Audi or Harley Davidson. They want to get the American salary but when it comes to dress, they don’t want women to wear such clothing and worst part is even women have to explain why they are wearing it. There can be only one explanation for wearing a particular dress. She might have liked it. That is all. If people are so damn worried about the heritage and culture, they wouldn’t be using the Facebook or twitter to vent out their anger.

If rapes happen because of dresses, I wonder the thefts happen because of shiny houses. May be we stop painting our houses, so that the thieves might stay away? Doesn’t sound logical right?

And then there are women in social media saying it is perfectly normal for guys to throw looks and pinches when they see a girl dressed like that. I don’t really understand the point they are trying to make. I wonder if they are accepting their father, son, brother or husband is doing such things and it is pretty much accepted in their household as well.

There was a good movie called Katrathu Tamil released  years back in Tamil. It is about how a society changes a innocent man to a serial killer, just by the pressure it puts on a person to join the herd. I hear the villain of Ek Villain also has the same problem. This is something that is so wide spread in our society and we rarely speak about it. The rapes that keep happening in the metros are not the attacks on the lifestyle people are leading. People who did not get an opportunity or who did not work for a decent lifestyle, which enables a man to live his dream are getting into such attacks. The basic emotions of anger and lust are intertwined in an act called rape. Sometimes the victim may even be men. But nobody will talk about it. That deserves a separate post by itself.

And in all, while people who given in to a minute’s temptation become perpetrators and who are afraid to do so because of various reasons, become the advocate in social media blaming the dress, shoes and lifestyle. In pre-independent India, they used to say “Only Queens and Concubines need education. My child is neither, so she doesn’t need education”.  But girls fought it out and inch by inch they secured seats in all fields. And now that, people who gave that saying accepted that their children are Queens, now they have taken the stance about dress. If this is a passe, then they will take something else. It is not what women do/wear/say. It is the women, moving ahead in their life and there is no need to depend on anybody that makes such people scared. If we go by the statistics, when people were fully dressed and never left home, 50 years before the reported rapes are 100% higher than what it is now.

Now that said, I am really confused that whether we should be happy that there is less number of crimes now or feel bad that even after 60 years of independence, we still have these crimes happening. We can talk about speeding up the judicial process or cancelling the summer holidays for the courts, but will that solve the problem? I don’t think so. The problem lies elsewhere. And the solution is nowhere to be seen.

So till somebody can come up with solutions, I wish the people who go yapping in social media should refrain themselves from saying what women should do/wear/behave, can give the girls a break and concentrate on their lives. So much had been said to women since time immemorial. They have obeyed some mindless preaching for centuries. Give them a break and for us too. It is really tiring.

“There should be something wrong with the girl. See millions of women travel by bus daily. Is she the only one to get harassed?” asked one person in tea shop.

“Don’t we know what these IT company girls do in office parties and in weekend parties. Now they are speaking like Sitas” said another and they had crooked laugh.

People like them rape daily. It may not be physical. But they still do.


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