Ek hazaaron mein meri behanaa hai

House hunting is going on in a full swing. I dont know whether I will be able to zero in on any house. Not my fault. We lived in a eight part house (ettu kattu veedu) in Tirunelveli. The apartments we come across are really cramped for space. I dont even think I can stretch myself properly in the hall. I kept on rejecting so many apartments. Now that to think why I did it, I can think of only one answer.

May be it was because of my sister.

She is a civil engineer. Even when she was in college, she used to give me ideas about how my house should look. How it should have a bit of me and bit of others while building a house. Though she decided and moved towards industrial engineering we would discuss at lengths about what should be where and what people should see when they enter the house etc etc.

Few years back I was working in a company for a four digit salary. She was doing her degree then. We went to Anna nagar Odyssey book shop. Before we knew we were in  the interior design section and chanced upon a good book. The next 3 hours we spent virtually building the house for me with her expert advice and my silly tastes. A house for which I had no money and she had no skill to build and not a brick was real there. But still it was one of the great days I had in recent past. It is wonderful to have people as friends and dear ones, who can actually see your dream with your eyes.

If you have anybody who can see your dream with your eyes, standing in your shoes and help you achieve that, never let them go. Guard them with your life. Dont let your mood overcome your sanity. Probably while you are chasing various demons and insecurities of your own, they might have put up long enough. Just a word or action is enough to let them give up. Never do that.

Everybody has talent. Most of them are ready for the opportunities armed with their skills. Half of them are in the right place at the right time. Seventy five percent of them has that steel nerves to accomplish things like they had always imagined. But people who made it to the top 1% of winners always had someone. Someone whose conviction about their friend’s/brother’s/son’s talent than themselves. If not for them, people would not have had that extra push. If not for them people might have given up really early. If not for them, winning has no meaning.

More than ever, I miss my sister so much now a days. Its been a year and few days. I consciously try and keep her away from the conversation or pictures or whatever. But I think it is not possible. To move on without people who emotionally invested so much on me. I understand the value of each word of encouragement. I understand each act of kindness and I understand my snobby behavior.

As my friends say and believe, she might not be ready to forgive and come back. May be she is not coming back at all. But if somebody else had a sister like I had, they would have conquered the world. After all “Ek hazaaron mein meri behanaa hai”