The recent days had been really tough for me. It is like the line in Rocky movie. It punches in my gut and see my double up and hits in my head with a hammer when I try to get up. However, I am not going to stay there and get it all the time. If there was something I had learnt from my time in Chennai is that, I can always give it back. I just have to wait for the right time. And I also learnt that the fear of pain hurts much more than the actual pain in itself.
We all have fears. Some have fear of cockroaches, heights, dark unlit alleys and even darker alleys in the mind. I was the most fearful kid in my family during childhood. I used to be afraid of everything. Public speaking, getting embarrassed in public, being alone to name a few. Few of these fears I overcame by facing it. I pushed myself to talk wherever I got chance. I don’t really hold back things. It may have hurt few people or projected me as a big show-off but it really helped me build my confidence. Then there are few fears I come to accept and live with it.
But then it is there. In some corner of the mind. Whenever I venture to do something new, or talk with someone I had never talked with before, these fears surface and make life harder. You would have totally forgotten that you had this fear and suddenly when you try to do something and bam it shows up. It is like the ex-girlfriend’s photo in the wallet. You know it is there, you dont want to have a look at it but then it somehow pokes the vulnerable point inside you.
While some of the foreign colleagues or fellow travelers ask about the tradition of burning the mortal remains of people who passed away, I usually say it is a way of letting go. Somehow when we burn the body of people who passed away and send of their ashes in sea or river, we truly learn to let go. There is no tombstone you could visit later. There is no burial service. You just let go after few days. I have always wanted to do it for some of my fears and memories.
Then suddenly one day, this blogger, Cameron Von St. James emailed me about some ritual they had been doing for years. His wife Heather was diagnosed with cancer. Few things are really easy when you write or type. I cannot imagine the hardships the family had to face when they discovered this. This particular cancer, mesothelioma, kills people in two years after diagnosis. Invariably this brought out various fears in the couple, like bring up their baby girl alone, financial set back etc, etc., But they stayed strong. After a life saving surgery, which included removal of lung of Heather, she is there, happily taking care of her kid and being a sweetheart to Cameron.
They celebrate this day as Lungleavin’ day. They gather in their house, write their fears in a plate and smash it in the fire place. Trust me, It feels good. To see our fears getting smashed by single action. By taking the first step of acknowledging them. This year they wanted the bloggers to be a part of this ritual. They have created a interactive website where you can take part. You can type out your fear and smash it online. You can do it how much ever time you want to do it. Smash all those plates. But then you will have to work on the fears you just acknowledged.
You can read more about Cameron and Heather here.
You can read about mesothelioma, if you want to; here
So Are you ready to break your plate?