Disclaimer : This post doesn’t mean that any of my friends or me going through the same emotions as mentioned in the post.
The problem about talking about suicide is the precisely in the disclaimer. There are people who feel bad when one of their friends kill themselves. They lose sleep and think about it day and night about how they could have prevented it. Then there are people who are ready with advise, gyan and what not.
When someone says they feel depressed and they want to kill themselves, the first question which comes to our mind and we ask is “What is the problem?” And when they say it, they usually say “You are going to kill yourself for this? How insane can you get?”. Congratulations. The person had successfully rubbed the salt into the victim’s wound. Remember it takes a great deal of courage and trust to tell the problem to someone. This approach will never work and it will make the person go away from us. Maybe forever.
Have a Kit Kat
“Take a break” is the next thing people could come up with. Take a break from what? Thinking? Living? or responding to our sensory powers? I have never understood such statements. If they could have taken a break, they wouldn’t be confessing to us about their problems. Stop treating them like chickens
Try not to think about it.
Ok. I will give you a medicine and let me say that there is only one condition to take the medicine. You should not think about monkeys when you take the medicine. Many of you would be familiar with this story right? So you also know how it ends. You cannot stop thinking of monkeys when you take the medicine. Such is the position of the victim. If they didn’t think about it, they wouldn’t have thought about killing themselves. So spare the dialogue please.
You have so many people around you
What if that is the exact problem they are dealing with. Dealing with social circles is one thing. In these days keeping up with the social circles comes up with a great cost which includes depression and suicidal thoughts. If somebody had decided to take the drastic step, it means they have even stopped thinking about themselves. Then why would they worry about family, friends, colleagues, electrician and rag picker? And how many of these people interact with the victim and cheer them up. We have lost the art of conversation to gossip. So more the gossips, more the doubts about being talked behind the back. (Stop giving that you are in front of people that is why people talk behind you shit, if people need they will go behind you and talk even when you are last in line. Isn’t that how body shaming and bullying works?)
It will get better
What will get better? The problems that I am facing. Let me say they are already in their full glory. I have no intention to wait and see how big Vishwaroop it can take. Yes, there are better days. There are better weeks and mostly the victims had had them in their past. The problem they are dealing with is so big that it made them forget the good times they had. If that is the case, nobody would get killed over failed relationships. Have some empathy.
For the Victims
Finally people are happy when they see the happy post updates in their news feed from the victim. Their job is done now they can offer their service to others who are in dire need. But we all know that such social media posts are for the world to see how awesome our lives are. Some wise man said that the most blissful moments doesn’t appear in social media and I agree with him. We know that there is a teeny bit of lie in every social media update, even from the most upright person. There is a need to be wanted, there is a need to show off, there is a need to tell people that they have almost everything except for a plot in the moon. If that was not the purpose of social media, Facebook and Twitter would look like LinkedIn and Quora. (LinkedIn has gone to dust and Quora is also filled with self scratching questions like “What is the favorite moment of your life?”)
It is very easy to fool people in social media. Take a picture of sunrise, even if you had not slept the whole night because of something that eats you and upload it in Facebook and Instagram with #bliss #happytobealive hashtags. Find mediocre comedians in twitter and tweet their one-liners for which you hardly had a reaction and tag few of the well wishers above and ask what they think. They wouldn’t dare to disagree. Take a trip with people you hate but who are mutual friends with the well wishers and post a picture every three minutes. Explore tumbler and find inspirational quotes and share it with hashtag #naanveezhvenenruninaithayo #storngerthanyesterday #lifeisbeautiful. Or take a #100happydays challenge. Nobody would worry about how other 265 days sucked.
And then one fine day disappear from the world. And trust me nobody would care. Because all they see is your smile and happy face and the humor in your posts. People confuse your mask with your face and when they know your face, they will hate you more than you hate yourself.
So if you know anybody who is undergoing depression or looks suicidal, quietly pack your bags, drive to nearest airport and take the trip you always wanted to take than talking to them. You are doing more harm than you think. And if you hadn’t understood their silence, you would never understand their suicides.